Rants

As I’m not doing much work this month and have lots of days off, I was looking for things to do. Jog Blog said “why don’t you come visit me and we’ll go cycling to the pub” and I said “yay pub” so that’s what we did.

Before I go any further, I must express my love for her pink Lady-of-the-Manor bike. It is the most beautiful bike I have ever seen and it does not look like Graham Norton. Please see here for further explanation.

So, Jog Blog cycled on her lovely Lady-of-the-Manor bike and I borrowed Shaun’s mountain bike and we cycled to a fantastic pub where we saw lots of sleeping ducks. We went to look at them and the boy-duck said “quack quack” in a very disdainful manner because we woke him up, stomped a duck-waddle-stomp to about half a metre away and said “quack” before going back to sleep. Cute. Then we drank beer, ate lots of food, drank another beer and cycled back again where there was a big hill and I said “I can’t do this hill, I’m tired already” and so we walked up it because I was a wimp, but then we cycled the way back and I saw a Shetland Pony. And it would transpire that I am really rubbish at cycling, probably because I haven’t cycled in over a year so I need to do lots more cycling if I’m going to do a JOGLE attempt with Jimmy.

Anyway, we got back, I frightened looey the-lovely-cat-with-a-small-l and I went to get the bus back to the train station and I had the unfortunate luck to be on a bus driven by The Most Usless Bus Driver in Kent. First of all, I got on the bus and told him I wanted to go to the train station. He charged me £2.25 and I thought “hmmm, it didn’t cost that much earlier, maybe it costs more to go in”, and sat down where annoying chavvy school kids were being loud and I shot them a withering disdainful look and they laughed. Anyway, the bus continued and came to a stop in town and the bus driver told me to get off. I said “but I want to go the station.” The Most Usless Bus Driver in Kent said “well, you should have told me when you got on.” I told him I did. He said I didn’t. So, I pulled out my ticket and showed him that it said station. He said “oh.” I said “see, I did tell you.” He said “my mistake.” I said “yes, your mistake and I am not from around here and I don’t know how to get to the station and I paid to go to the station so can I have my money back if you won’t take me.” He said “no.” Stupid bus driver.

THEN, he handed over a naughty magazine for adults to a school kid and told her to put it in the bin because he was Too Useless to do it himself and then he told her off for looking because it was a naughty adults magazine for adults.

I stamped off to the train station where upon further examation of my ticket, not only had the Most Usless Bus Driver in Kent not taken me to the station, he had also charged me from a random post office stop a mile or so before the stop I got on at.

So, I have decided. I must complain. Otherwise, who knows how many other people are going to be overcharged for journies taking them to the wrong place whilst chavvy kids make noise and the driver looks at naughty adult magazines? Then where would we be?

Stupid bus driver.