September 2009

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Hoo boy, my previous blog was rather ranty. However, I do feel that this was with good cause.

As many people know all too well, working in an office environment isn’t always easy. Like it or not, your work colleagues are the people that you spend most of your waking hours with. Sometimes, you end up knowing them better than your friends and family and often it grates.

For starters, unless you’re very lucky, you work at extremely close quarters. In my case, I work for a team sharing a bank of desks. I dislike this, particularly as in a previous job, I had my own office. Oh, that was such bliss. However, I digress. Working in close quarters, you get to notice other peoples annoying habits very, very quickly. For me, I cannot stand the following:

- Sniffing
- Heavy breathing
- Talking with mouth full
- Eating with mouth open
- Burping
- Eating loudly

Now, I know many of these are things which other people wouldn’t find as irritating as I do. I am also well aware that some are natural bodily functions. However, surely people could have the courtesy to use a tissue sometimes?

Now, we have nostrils for a reason. To let the mucus and other disgusting gloppy crap out of our noses. You don’t want it in there, blocking you up and making you ill.

Now, other than being irritating to the extent that once noticed, it can’t be blocked out, thus making me want to plunge a fork into my wrist with sheer annoyance and irritation, it is a disgusting habit that will only make your cold much worse because you’re sucking that crap back up, damnit!

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Coffee and chocolate

Like most people, I like chocolate. Like most people, I drink coffee. Unlike most people, I really like coffee.

Now, chocolate. I will eat Dairy Milk and I will enjoy it, but for me, there is definately something in this organic malarky. My favourite type is definately Green & Black’s Almond. Milk chocolate with almond – but only a dash of milk. Beautiful. My next favourite is Montezumas Dark Chocolate. Perfection. You only need a square to be satisfied. Savour it and really enjoy it. That’s the way to eat chocolate.

Onto coffee. Once again, I buy organic coffee. Always fairtrade. I always buy ground coffee, as there is nothing better than the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning. Mmmm. It must be strong and it must be drunk with no milk and no sugar. Why ruin the taste? In the evening, a wonderful indulgence is a cup of fresh coffee with a square of really good chocolate. So simple and something to be appreciated. I must invest in a coffee grinder.

On another note, whatever happened to those Neopolitan chocolates made by Terrys?

1. Stand on the LEFT of the esculator

Because why pay any attention to the signs that say ‘stand on the right?’ They’re merely decoration. The rest of us who actually need to get somewhere in a rush really enjoy getting stuck behind you, so please, stand on the left.

2. Do NOT move down the carriages

Nope, don’t move down so we can stand comfortably. I personally really enjoy crammed between sets of armpits, playing sardines. It makes for a much more pleasant journey – I might even pass out from the armpit stench, which will make the journey go much quicker!

3. Don’t let me get off the train/bus/underground before you get on

Slamming into me is good manners and character building. It’s also far more logical to squeeze into a smaller space, rather than let me vacate it, thus creating a larger space.

4. Talk very loudly on your mobile

Because it’s really good to know that you slept with X on this night and he/she was a lousy lay. I’m also very pleased to hear that your smear test was clear and your colleague has BO.

5. Chew gum with your mouth open at all times

Who doesn’t love the sound of lips smacking and squelching? And the strings of already-been-chewed gum stretching between your lips. It’s a beautiful sight and music to my ears.

6. Argue with the conductor about not touching in with your Oyster card

It’s fine; I have no where I need to get to in a hurry. After all, it’s definately the conductor’s fault that you didn’t pay and he must realise that.

7. Block the gates whilst you search for your travelcard / Oyster card during rush hour

Again, take your time. We don’t need to get anywhere.

8. Walk slowly at all times

Clearly, you like having me stand on your heels. And I fully understand that you must be deaf when I say ‘excuse me.’

Don’t let the subject of this blog mislead you; this is referring to a ‘Time Warp’ in pre-teen fiction and not the Rocky Horror Picture Show. However, if you ‘remember doing the time warp’ then please go ahead and dance it anyway. Tim Curry in stockings and suspenders, oh yes. Moving on.

In my last blog, I ranted a little about the modernisation of teen-fic from the early 90s and how they should have left it alone. Coincidentally, that same day, information was released that a new BSC book is indeed in the pipeline, due to be released in April 2010, ten years after the last book was published. This new book is to be called The Summer Before… and is about the summer before the BSC was formed, when the original four characters were aged twelve.

This is an interesting idea and like most female nostalgia freaks in their twenties, I did have a squee moment. Naturally, I will purchase this, read it, possibly hate it and then rant about it. I am also possibly a lot more excited about this than I should be. It’s like reverting back to childhood. When I was young, the BSC was absolutely my favourite series of books and I really loved to read. They were happy times and I am intreagued by this new addition.

So, the brief description of the book on Amazon explains that this book tells us about the changes that each girl went through in that summer before the seventh grade. I’m not entirely sure how this will work; as most hardcore BSC fans know, Mary Anne’s father doesn’t loosen up until book 4, we know Stacey moves to the ‘Brook and has just been diagnosed with diabetes. This leaves just Claudia and Kristy. The only thing we do know is that at this time, Claudia was apparently just an acquitance, a former childhood friend who drifted apart. We’ll see whether Ann decides to expand on this, or whether she decides to go with the later ghostwritten route, who had us believe that they were close friends all the way through.

For me, I want to know whether this will be BSC-Land, or whether it will be modernised. The later books did start to mention modern technology, with the introduction of emails and cell phones. But for the most part, they remained 80s/90s all the way through. I want to read about them listening to Michael Jackson, wearing oversize shirts and sparkly nail polish and riding their bikes around the ‘Brook, earning a massive dollar fifty an hour sitting. I sincerely hope that they’re not turned into Lady Gaga fans, in skinny jeans and cami tops, earning ten dollars an hour. For me, that would take away from the innocence of the BSC.

Unless a modernisation is on the cards, following the success of the graphic novels and this is a test run, to see how it appeals to the new generation. We shall see.

In other news, a big well done to the London Men and Ladies bowling teams for qualifying for the County Finals in November. We did good, we did!

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